Pop Culture References: A Terrible Poem

My copyeditor was kind enough to provide me with a long list of all of the pop culture references that appear in OUR CHEMICAL HEARTS, in chronological order. I thought it was kind of cool (I had no idea there were so many?!) and also sounded like a pretentious post-modern poem. So here it is, in all its glory:

Pop Culture References: A Terrible Poem  

By Krystal Sutherland

Keanu Reeves

Summer Glau

Severus Snape

Napoleon Dynamite

Kip Dynamite

David Fincher

Holden Caulfield

Tyler Durden, “The things you own end up owning you”

Janis Joplin

Steve Irwin

Crocodile Dundee

Kangaroo Jack

“Hey” by the Pixies: Been trying to meet you . . . If you go, I will surely die . . .

Black Francis

The Devil Wears Prada

Fight Club: “You met me at a very strange time in my life”

Mad-Eye Moody

Alice in Wonderland (character roman, book title ital)

Kim Jong-un

Gossip Girl

“Someday” by the Strokes / You say you wanna stay by my side / Darlin’, your head’s not right.

Piña coladas and getting caught in the rain

“She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5

“Stairway to Heaven”

“Smells Like Teen Spirit”

Frozen

Nicholas Sparks

M&M’s

Vitaminwater

Aileen Wuornos

The quote “I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night” 

Manic Pixie Dream Girl

Christian Grey

John Hinckley

Jodie Foster

Guy Fawkes

Taylor Swift x3

Twilight / Edward / Bella

Batman

Breaking Bad

Star Wars

Game of Thrones

Star Trek

Doctor Who

Animal Farm

Ron Swanson

Liam Neeson

Ricky Gervais

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

84, Charing Cross Road by Helene Hanff

Ricky Martin

“Livin’ la Vida Loca”

Ewok

“Wonderwall”

Bend It Like Beckham

Freud

Jason Bourne

“Everything’s coming up Milhouse.”

Fight Club

Inception

The Matrix

Pulp Fiction

a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma

The Lion King / Rafiki / Scar / Nala / Pumbaa / Simba / Timon / Zazu / “I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts”

Zoolander: “I wonder if there’s more to life than being really, really, really ridiculously good looking.” / Blue Steel / “What is this . . . a newspaper for ants?”

Miranda Priestly

“Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark!”

Hillary Clinton

Reddit

Swamp People

Barq’s Red Creme Soda

Avatar: The Last Airbender

60% of the time, it works every time.

“Can’t Help Falling in Love,” Elvis / Take my hand, take my whole life too

CoD

Pulp Fiction: “And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who . . .” /Mr. Winnfield / “Say “touch” again. I dare you. I double dare you, motherfucker, say “touch” one more goddamn time!

LaFawnduh

DodgeBall

The Mountain That Rides from Game of Thrones

Forrest Gump

PowerPoint

Tumblr

Groundhog Day

Obi-Wan in A New Hope

Julian Casablancas

The Wire

Qui-Gon Jinn

Harry Potter series: Bellatrix Lestrange / Voldemort and his Death Eaters / Mudbloods / Dark Lords / the choice between what is right and what is easy / HOW DARE YOU STAND WHERE HE STOOD.

Death Stars and AT-ATs

Anchorman 2

Kardashians

Led Zeppelin

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

Star Trek / “Live long and prosper” / Vulcan / beam me up, Scotty [not actually a Star Trek quote, but a very common idiom]

“If you were a carrot, you’d be a good carrot?”

CSI

Horatio Caine

Filthy casual

eBay

Craigslist

Cabbage Patch Kids

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

AskMen.com

Edward Cullen

Sully Sullenberger

“How much can you know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight?”

Fast and Furious

Ramones

Jack and Rose / Titanic

All work and no play makes Henry a dull boy

The Great Gatsby / Leo DiCaprio

The Truman Show

Sea-Monkeys

The Lord of the Rings

Smaug

Puff the Magic Dragon

Falkor the Luck Dragon

Urban Dictionary

She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

Bertolt Brecht

Ratatouille

Mario Kart

Pongo, Duchess, and Otis

Bagheera and Aslan

You Are Stardust by Elin Kelsey

The Sound of Music

Breaking Bad: Walter White / the Salamanca cousins / Happy Heisenbirthday, bitch

Glenn Miller’s “Moonlight Serenade”

Edie Sedgwick

An old priest and a young priest

Mr. Darcy

Poltergeist

BioShock Infinite

Ophelia

Plath

Katherine Heigl

Cosmos, Neil deGrasse Tyson

Patrick Swayze

“Baby Got Back”

“Love lifts us up where we belong”

America’s Next Top Model

Shawshank

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

The Notebook / Allie, Noah

Boombox held over her head

There you have it. A heartbreaking work of staggering genius. Anyone who wants to do a slam poetry reading of this (a la 22 Jump Street) and upload it to YouTube, you have my unequivocal blessing.